2 Samuel 19:38

Barzillai was old and weak, so he turned down David's invitation to the royal court in Jerusalem. This invitation was a reward for Barzillai's help. Instead, David took Barzillai’s son Kimham (see also 1 Kings 2:7).

buried by the grave of my father and of my mother--This is an instance of the strong affection of people in the East towards the places of sepulture appropriated to their families.

David had already graced the triumphs of his restoration with the generous remission of the injuries that had been done to him; we have him here gracing them with a no less generous reward of the kindnesses that had been shown to him. Barzillai, the Gileadite, who had a noble seat at Rogelim, not far from Mahanaim, was the man who, of all the nobility and gentry of that country, had been most kind to David in his distress. If Absalom had prevailed, it is likely he would have suffered for his loyalty; but now he and his shall be no losers by it. Here is,
I. Barzillai's great respect to David, not only as a good man, but as his righteous sovereign: He provided him with much sustenance, for himself and his family, while he lay at Mahanaim, Sa2 19:32. God had given him a large estate, for he was a very great man, and, it seems, he had a large heart to do good with it: what else but that is a large estate good for? To reduced greatness generosity obliges us, and to oppressed goodness piety obliges us, to be in a particular manner kind, to the utmost of our power. Barzillai, to show that he was not weary of David, though he was so great a charge to him, attended him to Jordan, and went over with him, Sa2 19:31. Let subjects learn hence to render tribute to whom tribute is due and honour to whom honour, Rom 13:7.
II. The kind invitation David gave to him to court (Sa2 19:33): Come thou over with me. He invited him, 1. That he might have the pleasure of his company and the benefit of his counsel; for we may suppose that he was very wise and good, as well as very rich, otherwise he would not have been called here a very great man; for it is what a man is, more than what he has, that renders him truly great. 2. That he might have an opportunity of returning his kindness: "I will feed thee with me; thou shalt fare as sumptuously as I fare, and this at Jerusalem, the royal and holy city." David did not take Barzillai's kindness to him as a debt (he was not one of those arbitrary princes who think that whatever their subjects have is theirs when they please), but accepted it and rewarded it as a favour. We must always study to be grateful to our friends, especially to those who have helped us in distress.
III. Barzillai's reply to this invitation, wherein,
1. He admires the king's generosity in making him this offer, lessening his service, and magnifying the king's return for it: Why should the king recompense it with such a reward? Sa2 19:36. Will the master thank that servant who only does what was his duty to do? He though he had done himself honour enough in doing the king any service. Thus, when the saints shall be called to inherit the kingdom in consideration of what they have done for Christ in this world, they will be amazed at the disproportion between the service and the recompence. Mat 25:37, Lord, when saw we thee hungry, and fed thee?
2. He declines accepting the invitation. He begs his majesty's pardon for refusing so generous an offer: he should think himself very happy in being near the king, but, (1.) He is old, and unfit to remove at all, especially to court. He is old, and unfit for the business of the court: "Why should I go up with the king to Jerusalem? I can do him no service there, in the council, the camp, the treasury, or the courts of justice; for how long have I to live? Sa2 19:34. Shall I think of going into business, now that I am going out of this world?" He is old and unfit for the diversions of the court, which will be ill-bestowed, and even thrown away, upon one that can relish them so little, Sa2 19:35. As it was in Moses's time, so it was in barzillai's and it is not worse now, that, if men be so strong that they come to fourscore years, their strength then is labour and sorrow, Psa 90:10. These were then, and are still, years of which men say they have no pleasure in them, Ecc 12:1. Dainties are insipid when desire fails, and songs to the aged ear are little better than those sung to a heavy heart, very disagreeable: how should they be otherwise when the daughters of music are brought low? Let those that are old learn of Barzillai to be dead to the delights of sense; let grace second nature, and make a virtue of the necessity. Nay, Barzillai, being old, thinks he shall be a burden to the king, rather than any credit to him; and a good man would not go any where to be burdensome, or, if he must be so, will rather be so to his own house than to another's. (2.) He is dying, and must begin to think of his long journey, his removal out of the world, Sa2 19:37. It is good for us all, but it especially becomes old people to think and speak much of dying. "Talk of going to court!" says Barzillai; "Let me go home and die in my own city, the place of my father's sepulchre; let me die by the grave of my father, that my bones may be quietly carried to the place of their rest. The grave is ready for me, let me go and get ready for it, go and die in my nest."
3. He desires the king to be kind to his son Chimham: Let him go over with my lord the king, and have preferment at court. What favour is done to him Barzillai will take as done to himself. Those that are old must not grudge young people those delights which they themselves are past the enjoyment of, nor confine them to their retirements. Barzillai will go back himself, but he will not make Chimham go back with him; though he could ill spare Chimham, yet, thinking it would gratify and advance him, he is willing to do it.
IV. David's farewell to Barzillai. 1. He sends him back into his country with a kiss and a blessing (Sa2 19:39), signifying that in gratitude for his kindnesses he would love him and pray for him, and with a promise that whatever request he should at any time make to him he would be ready to oblige him (Sa2 19:38): Whatsoever thou shalt think of, when thou comest home, to ask of me, that will I do for thee. What is the chief excellency of power but this, that it gives men a capacity of doing the more good? 2. He takes Chimham forward with him, and leaves it to Barzillai to choose him his preferment. I will do to him what shall seem good to thee, Sa2 19:38. And, it should seem, Barzillai, who had experienced the innocency and safety of retirement, begged a country seat for him near Jerusalem, but not in it; for, long after, we read of a place near Beth-lehem, David's city, which is called the habitation of Chimham, allotted to him, probably, not out of the crown-lands or the forfeited estates, but out of David's paternal estate.

Thy servant Chimham - It is generally understood that this was Barzillai's son; and this is probable from Kg1 2:7, where, when David was dying, he said, Show kindness to the sons of Barzillai: and it is very probable that this Chimham was one of them. In Jer 41:17 mention is made of the habitation of Chimham, which was near to Bethlehem; and it is reasonably conjectured that David had left that portion, which was probably a part of his paternal estate, to this son of Barzillai.

And the king answered, Chimham shall go over with me,.... He admitted of him instead of his father:

and I will do unto him that which shall seem good unto thee; he puts it to Barzillai, and leaves it with him to ask what he would for his son, and he would grant it. We nowhere read what it was that Barzillai asked, or whether he asked anything; only this we read, that some hundreds of years afterward there was a place called the habitation of Chimham near Bethlehem, Jeremiah 41:17; which makes it probable that David gave him a paternal estate of his there, since Bethlehem was his city; and the Targum on that place is expressly for it; See Gill on Jeremiah 41:17,

and whatsoever thou shalt require of me, that will I do for thee; whatever suit he should make to him, or whatever favour he should ask of him hereafter, when returned to his own city, he would grant it to him, if it could be possibly done; such a sense should he always retain of his kindness to him.

Barzillai comes to greet David. - Sa2 19:31. Barzillai the octogenarian "had also come down from Roglim and gone across the Jordan with the king, to escort him over the river." את־בּירדּן is the portion in, or over, the Jordan. את is the sign of the accusative, "the piece in the Jordan," and no further. This is the correct explanation as given by Bttcher, after Gesenius and Maurer; and the Keri היּרדּן is a bad emendation.
Sa2 19:32-37
As Barzillai had supplied the king with provisions during his stay in Mahanaim (שׁיבה for ישׁיבה, like צואה for יצואה, and other words of the same kind), because he was very wealthy (lit. great), David would gladly have taken him with him to Jerusalem, to repay him there for his kindness; but Barzillai replied (Sa2 19:34.), "How many days are there of the years of my life (i.e., how long shall I have yet to live), that I should go up with the king to Jerusalem? I am now eighty years old; can I (still) distinguish good and evil, or will thy servant taste what I eat and drink, or listen again to the voice of the singing men and singing women? and why should thy servant be yet a burden unto my lord the king? Thy servant would go over the Jordan with the king for a short time (i.e., could not remain long with him), and why does the king wish to repay me this favour?" ישׁב־נא: "Let thy servant return, that I may die in my city (my home), at the grave of my parents; and behold thy servant Chimham (i.e., according to the explanation given by Josephus, Barzillai's son, who had come down with his father, as we may infer from Kg1 2:7) may go over with my lord the king; and do to him what seemeth good to thee," i.e., show him favours at thy pleasure.
Sa2 19:38
David consented to this, and said, "All that thou desirest of me I will do to him." בּחר with על is a pregnant construction, signifying to choose and impose, "choose upon me," i.e., the thing for me to grant thee.
Sa2 19:39
Thus all the people went over the Jordan; and when the king had crossed over, he kissed Barzillai (to take leave of him: vid., Rut 1:9); and he (Barzillai) blessed him, and turned to his place (returned home). Barzillai only escorted the king over the Jordan, and the conversation (Sa2 19:31-38) probably took place as they were crossing.